Monday, May 5, 2008

Time to say good-bye

I hated thinking that it would come to this. Should come to this. I didn't want it to come to this. I didn't want this. But I think the best way is to end it thus. Kurt, our close friend, said, it's better to burn out than to fade away. I think its better to fade away than to exist without even fading. Hence this.

Bye bye blog.

Saying good-bye is so hard. Especially for someone like me. Me, who is obsessed with the past. Me, who considers the past with the rosiest brush and with the most colourful tunes; A saxophone with mellow notes of yesterday.

I don't think I have a healthy obsession for the past. Too many sights, smells and words remind me of a time I can never get to again. Too many faces, too many dejavus. Stand in a place, close my eyes, rewind the clock, remember the happy days, the people, the conversation, the what-happened-next. At the same time, the all very real fact that it can never again be.

But ah, Kundera has an answer. Friends are our window to our memories. The proof of the past. The warmth in the embers.

School. College. Elections. ACM. 3rd year, ah, 3rd year. TG. 4th year, aha, 4th year.

This would be the inexplicable rant of a geezer for a young one. Many years ago, when in school, I remember a senior who came in to see a teacher. She was a good-looking senior, hence I remember. And she said then, school was the best time of her life. I looked at her disapprovingly. But then she had had her time. And her right to say so.

There must be a balance - between living in the moment, living off the past and living for the future. Sure, you can explain everything with purpose, happiness and such Platonic hogwash. The truth of the matter is not enough people think rationally about life. Most of the time you live life the way you are supposed to. Thus, parents want children to be happy. Children want parents to be happy. Parents ask children to do what they want. Children listen to parents without question. Neither parents nor children think why. Possible result? Neither happy.

Society, religion, money - I don't see the use for all these. That's just me. You do? I am happy for you.

Rant done. Back to this post. My dramatic nod and my over-dramatic bow to this blog. 2 years almost, T, 2 years. Good times. Remember the saturday comedies? I do. And the Peregrine parties? And the time we followed Upma to his house and back? And the time we had a mini-IITM reunion when we moved out? I do, I do, I do. You still have Peregrine and basketball. You still have Bombay. And you're not even the senti one of us two.

Yes, you can flick that drop off your cheek. This is indeed good-bye. A long drawn affair it has been. The good-bye too.

Farewell my love.

Moving on,

T, you agree?

Babe, is this good enough for you? :-)


Ramkumar R. Aiyengar said...

*sigh*! i guess you are moving on to the next stage of your life.. cheers mate! >:D<

TenG said...

Rubbish. What good bye? You worry too much about comments. You've neither gone up in flames nor faded away. Don't get so mawkish just because I'm not writing. I'll begin soon enough. The English cold has addled your brains, I think. You need to come back to Mumbai. Bye to the blog, indeed. I'll tell you why we shouldn't stop. In a little while, kinda busy day ;)

satya said...

yes, nice one .. except for the bye part.

Maybe I needed some actual thoughts, not the illusion of the same nor the bird-bush stuff of past present and future - to appreciate post.

maybe you will be free soon man.

Btw, I think i have title to my next blog. Its from a place nearby .. I will tell you when something happens in the blog.